Brilliant!!! Sooo funny!!! I don't want to quote everything back at you, but a few of the lines and phrases I love include:

off the Mayflower to invent spike heels and Aqua Net
Steve Whisperer
"C'mon, baby, come here. Daddy gonna treat you good."
Vicks
"Aw, listen to you thinking you're topping, aren't you cute."

You have a real gift. Thank you for sharing it.